What About Love?

What if I took my time to love you?
What if I put no one above you?
What if I did the things
That really mattered?
What if I ran through
Hoops of disaster?

No one would care if
We never made it
We're in this alone
So why don't we face it
There is no room to
Blame one another
We just need time to
Forgive each other

What about love?
What about feeling?
What about all the things that make life worth living?
What about faith?
What about trust?
And tell me baby... what about us?

How can I give this
Love a new beginning?
How can I stop the rain?
It's never ending
How do I keep my soul believing?
Memories of how we
Should be keep calling

I'll take the rivers rise
I'll take the happy times
I'll take the moments of disaster

^.~ I've read Jenny's email. It contained something about this song. Really now, this is something that I have thought about before. And love is more than a word to describe a certain feeling. It's like stating a lot of explanations but nothing would really suffice, not capture its real meaning.. sigh? And no on will be able to fathom the real description.. More than a state of being elated, more than the comfort that you feel holding when you hold someone's hand, more than the warmth of a lover's embrace, more than the security of waking up each morning knowing that someone is thinking of you.


^.~ I believe that it is the greatest state or feeling that could change the whole world --- but at the same time, it can bring the most powerful person to his knees.. How wonderful it is to love and be loved in return.. But what if it dies? so they say, what if one grows out of love? instead of smile, it brings tears; instead of laughter.. it brings heartaches.


^.~ Hmmm... how utterly ironic. So, what about love?

These Are The Few Of My Favorite Things

these are the few of my favorite things.. I remember singing this song with Maria.. one of the songs on the original soundtrack  of The Sound of Music which I have watched almost a hundred times already (of course I am exaggerating... ^.^)! Funny thing is, I have alot of favorite things! :)

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

ice cream . ballet . chocolate cakes . pocketbooks. magazines . sims . butterflies and rainbows . blues and violets . paintings and sketches . beaches . hot-air balloons . bungee jumping . opera . caramel macchiato . and the list goes on......

Sweet Mondays

oh well.. it has been a peaceful and sweet Monday for me. After spending the past three days contemplating... (ha! I like to use that word.. ) I was able to find solace in letting God do His thing.

after re-thinking and finding solutions... worrying sick up to the point that I don't want to come to work, I was able to let live and let God. The typical Gemini -- always want to be in control. always want to feel secure. sigh? someone was able to make me come into my senses that no matter how I think about resolving things at the same time, I will not be able to do so...

take it easy.. so he says. hunny has always been the calming voice that soothes my worries. moccha frappe or caramel macchiato will be a great way or relaxing... and waste about 150 bucks for Timezone will help me de-stress (if there is such a word)... but I am trying to play Sims for a change. :)

I do thank my manager for the assistance though, I have been one of the most demanding agents on the team.. hehe but I am proud to say I do deserve to have some credits at times though.. haha.. I wonder what Cat will think after she reads this..

Carpe Diem! Seize the day! :)

Contemplating

sigh? here am i contemplating again.. Contrary to my nature... when I prefer to think. I don't want to be disturbed. And I really am not speaking at all. Plus it adds up the fact that I am not feeling well. I feel that I am going to be sick and I know that it is not ..."only in the mind" as what I usually say.

whew.. I don't even know what to feel right now. I just passed up the opportunity for the career that I would like to have... actually it just to put it mildly. It has been the job that I always have dreamed of having... and why the hell did I let it pass? because of the schedule... graveyard. darn it.

I have been on the evening to graveyard shift for a year and a half now when I was granted the morning shift after a lot of strenuous and not-that-easy process here at MSN. And just after a week I turned down the proposal. I even promised myself that I will not have any regrets because I am trying to live a normal career on the morning.

And right now I am so close to just quitting because of the selfish management who does not know how they will be able to at least commend the efforts of their employees. Rubbish... and please don't ask my what the heck am I doing here..

I just wanted to shout right now...

Pachelbel's canon in D Major

how is wish there are lines in the music of Pachelbel's canon in D Major... it is very soothing to the ears and it is one song that can make me smile..

what can i say? it is heavenly... and definitely, this will be my wedding song as I walk down the aisle when i get married..

that is... if he will propose... hahahaha

for my sleepyhead...

for my sleepyhead:

hope you don 't change...
I try to smile my tears away
I try to keep my cool
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me
It feels like nothing is for certain and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and I crumble and
I'm Sinking to my knees but you
You cradle me
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again
Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's
On a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge I feel like I can breathe again
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

btw: to hear the song click on this link: http://www.corrinnemay.com/safe/flash/index2.htm and then choose song #5

decisions.. decisions...

sigh... stupid customers... grrrr! they are really getting into my nerves and honestly, this job is not healthy for me anymore.. i have gotten so used to it that it really bores me now...

it is like no excitement going to work, i can't even find my smiling by just the thought of it. one thing that I have learned is that you have to love your work, what you do and the environment that surrounds you.. or else you will not be able to enjoy it and you will not be able to grow.

it is not that i am so negative about this company. I have learned a few good things and learned so many lessons here, met many friends also like the wave1 peeps who taught me about webtree.. the Team Great Taste... (my beloved wave 4 mates), my Team andrew buddies up to the lats team where i have been... and the other waves people who were so nice and friendly enough -- both L1 and L2's .. :)

not mention one person that really have helped me alot in my stay here is my boss- hehe the only person that I really respected as a the team manager ..
and now, am ready to move forward and broaden the horizons... it does not mean that i am to leave them... it is just stepping forward to what lies ahead. after all, how can i forget these people? they are my first TMs and colleagues. and it has been a pleasure working with them...
i look forward to knowing more friends and learning more lessons... hopefully on a different country...
i just hope that huhun will be with me.. although there is a part of me that tells me that he will stay here... sigh? decisions.. decisions...

all in a day's work

sigh.. just came from work.. actually I am still here @ the office but I have just finished the mandatory that they have assigned... and then canceling it after I have just finished rendering mine... tsk..tsk.. how rude???

anyways.. I have just filed a leave, wishing that it would be approved and I am not talking to my boss that much.. he is such a fake!!! and he even tries to give out cadbury chocs to all his agents... hahahaha (suhol??)

and i miss my huhun.. maybe because we haven't spend quality time together these past few weeks, although we see each other almost everyday.. it was unlike the former days when everything was sweet....

well.. i do know that not every time is supposed to be sweet... well... wala lang -- maybe i am in the "officially missing him" mode... yikes and baduy???
sigh.. seriously.. i do miss him... i am this close to asking him to have lunch with me... because for sure he'll be getting up late because he slept late... and baka he will just advise me to sleep na lang...

btw, i was late last night... well almost. huhun woke me up by 6, i woke up by 730... hehehe.. and my shift was 915 or 930 ata???? yep, and he ended up making hatid... huh??? i really miss hunny...

superman

save me?


I feel my wings have broken in your hands
I feel the words unspoken inside
And they pull you under
And I will give you anything you want, oh
You are all I wanted
All my dreams are fallin' down
Crawling around...
Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay (stay with me)
Stay
C'mon, I've been waiting for you
I see the world as folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside
And they pull me under
I will give you anything you want, oh
You are all I wanted
All my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around...
Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay (stay with me)
Stay C'mon, I've been waiting for you
All my dreams are on the ground
Crawling around...
Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay with me (stay with me)
I made this whole world shine for you
Just stay
Stay
C'mon, I'm still waiting for you

save me..

i don't know what my reaction would be.. if I will be happy that I have "managed" to survive year 2005 alive or if I'd be so moping over things that did not turn out the way I have expected them to be..

i am working on New Year's Eve.. Funny that many people will rather stay at home and welcome 2006 but i decided to take calls instead. why?? a part of me wants to enjoy with my family.. a family that is currently at the point of breaking right now.. need i to say more??

I'm not sure exactly how it is I manage to end up in these situations. I mean, one minute I'm just minding my own business, and the next, I suddenly find myself under a heap of new responsibilities.


and as they say.. what you don't know wont hurt you.. it is better that I did not explore the stupid blog... i just wanted to know you and to somehow see if I have grown to know something about you that is true during the past year... one thing for sure... if you are reading this right now... i love you... i love you so much that I am about to cry infront of my pc.. i can't help it..

i have fallen... and there is no turning back--

it is not a matter of trust. it is a battle that rages inside that even one person tries to fight it, it can't be helped. the feeling is there and the damage is done. the pain relives itself.. this is the monster that keeps me awake at nights... this is the one true thing that knocks my defenses down.. i don't know when i am bound to overcome it.. or if ever there will come a time that i will be able to...

i am not asking for anything else... i know that what you have shown it pure all along... but somehow... it pains me to know that at that certain point in time you have desired someone else but that girl was not me...

and it is the green-eyed monster... the insecurity that eats up all the confidence me... all the strength that i have left...

again, i am in the situation as before but this time... i am not leaving the responsibility that i have taken at work... i don't know... maybe this is something that will keep me preoccupied in the next few hours..

i wonder why guys are like that? maybe it is normal for them... but i cannot find any explanation that will suffice the questions that i have in mind all through those years when i hear of people like other people even if they already have someone else to call their own...

and maybe i live in fairytale... wherein i can find chivalry and loyalty and honesty alive in a world that I choose to be.. hopeless romantic... given the chance, i choose to love someone with all my heart. to that person alone...


my thoughts... my dreams.. my life..

:'(

that each time something like this comes up, it knocks my world upside down... i hate myself to react like this... past is past... so they say - but knowing that in one split second, one thing can change into another hurts me...

darn it... why do i love you this way? why am i affected by these certain things.. why am I so weak??

why do i always feel like there will come a time that i will not be having you by my side? is it a premonition of what is to come??? or is it just this monster eating me up slowly...

i did not want to go to China alone... one reason is that i don't have high hopes when it comes to long distance relationships.. i wanted to be with you... share everything that is good and beautiful with you... :(


crazy as i am right now... i love you that much...

i don't like celebrating the first day on the year moping over something that i am supposed to conquer... and i hope in the love i have for you i can find the strength to survive this fear ...

and you always mention... if i look for you i will not find you.. but if i need you, you will be here..

i need you right now... in the most desperate times that i am buried in the lowest emotions that I can ever have now...


please save me?