Alec

He goes back to Japan today. And yes, I know I am not supposed to cry. But his reply has done this to my tear ducts! My only brother, the youngest in the family is growing into a man. I can't say that my time in being a bossy sister has come to an end. But it is gradually to become lesser and lesser.. for Alec that is. My sister, is another story. But she is not the one leaving today so I'll save up an entry for her some other time.

As I meditate on the day ahead of us, my heart brings me back to a simple tune I have learned since I was ten years old. It was often paired with an opening song for fellowship and the message coming from Lamentations 3:22-24:

 22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassion never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.”

And so this is my prayer. And my claim.

Here is my e-mail to my baby brother written a day ago:

Dear Alec,


Yes this is weird but I find myself writing this email at three in the morning. We will definitely be busy tomorrow and moreover, have no time for drama on Monday. Plus we have to avoid letting mom see the deep-buried feelings of sadness as we once again find ourselves part ways - for the time being.

I know I have questioned you time and again of this decision studying abroad and leaving home. In some twisted way, I understand how you feel and respect this choice. I know you are trying to be brave but is somehow afraid to be alone in a place where you have decided to call your second home. I don't know if that is your calling. But I am continuing to trust the Lord that He knows what He is doing and He will fulfill His promise to you.

I pray that you always find the courage to continue this path that God has chosen for you. Peace at times that you are bothered by earthly worries. Grace that you learn to accept things as they come. Friends who will be your shield while you are away. Love from home that will ensure you there is always a place where you are accepted - no matter who you are or what you have been. Humility that will keep you grounded in spite of all your achievements. Strength to always stand up for what is right. Happiness that you enjoy life to the fullest. And faith in God.

Yea, it is now or never. And thank you for always being Alec. I will always treasure our talks. And for  never failing to understand my shortcomings. I thank God for you.
I will see you in Singapore. Don't forget to remind me of this promise just in case I'd forget. :)


I love you baby brother.
Hang in there.
Always believe.


God bless,
Ate Ni

*Sent from my iPod

Dear Ate Ni,

You know I'm not good when it comes to expressing my feelings to my family. But I know you know what I'm trying to do. Time and I again I have been preparing myself when this day again comes. 

I want to continuously challenge myself with what He has given me. I could not let go this opportunity as I know this will promote self-growth and more importantly an avenue to help Mama. I'm a Mama's boy and my priority will always be to give her, to the best that I can, security  as she grows old.

I can say that so far, you've been a good sister to me. With all the hardships that we've gone through, I saw how you grew and became more mature as you lead your life and carry the burden of supporting the family. We all have our own shortcomings, so I don't blame you for yours. What matters is that no matter where we are, we always keep connected to each other and to Him.

You've been through a lot and now that you and Kuya Donn are seeking for a better opportunity abroad, I could not help but also think that the responsibility of supporting Ma and Pa is little by little being passed to me. You never heard me complain anything about it because this is also part of belonging to a family. I know also for a fact, as you have been vocal with your plans, you're desire to save up, get married and also settle down and stat your own family. For now, I can only wish you the best because you have been one strong sister. One of the person that I would talk to with what if's what not's and whatevers.

I believe we can do this. Just continue to ask for His guidance and hold on to His plan for each and every one of us. 

Mata ne. (See you.)

Itsumo ki wo tsukete kudasai. (Take care always)


Alec