Lost In Space

Sometimes I get tired of this me first attitude
You are the one thing that keeps me smiling
Thats why Im always wishing hard for you

cause your life shines so bright
I dont feel no solitude
You are my first star at night
Id be lost in space without you

And Ill never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

Feels just so fine
When we touch the sky me and you
This is my idea of heaven
Why cant it always be so good

But its alright, I know youre out there
Doing what youve gotta do
You are my soul satellite
Id be lost in space without you

And Ill never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

And Ill never lose my faith in you
How will I ever get to heaven, if I do

And Ill never lose my faith in you
And Ill never lose my faith in you

Random Ramblings

It may seemed that I am getting selfish... I am feeling so -- I'd be damned but logically speaking the career that I have always wanted slipped through my fingers...

To make it correct, I did let it slip away.. Someone keeps on pushing me up.. and most of the times, he gives me the strength to move on...

Actually, he keeps me safe in this crazy world. I am grateful that he is my better half, yet.. I don't know how I could let him know that, moreover believe it..

He always assures me that we deserve each other.. and with the time that we have spent together, I can say that those are the happiest moments that I can keep until my last breathe..

The last time I fall in love with Eric Bennet is a song I heard over the radio on our way home yesterday... I have read the lyrics on his blog but haven't heard it yet...

sigh? I wonder how can make him proud of me.. really proud of me. i keep on ranting about the changes I want to happen and he does not know that with every kiss and smile that he offers makes my heart light from all the worries that I have...

And with me sometimes being happy I tend to overlook that there are concerns of his -- it makes me sad that when I try to take care of him, I always lack on e aspect.. I am not blaming myself though, but I marvel how fate keeps us growing and going even if most of the time it causes us pain.
And he doesn't know that I am proud of him... Like what he once said, do not fret my dear.. eventually you will get there.. Give yourself some space.. It is your first time to be the head of your org.. and the skill of leading is still being developed... It was not your fault that you were sick... :) sheesh... I'll kill those people if you will get even more sick... :) but I know how it feels... it is just a challenge.. at least it is good that something stirred up... that means you value the position that was given to you..

And I admire you for the courage .. no matter how I make pigil, I know that there will come a time that you will be the man you ought to be... I don't want to take part to any of your glory.. I'll just be there gazing at you.. knowing and believing that i was just glad to be by your side... and to have you as you have me..

September Rains...

hmm.. random ramblings... I spent yesterday going to Tagaytay with Hunny and his cousins.. Tina came for vacation from Singapore.. and the usual thing that they do is gala... Although it was tiresome because it is balikan.. it is good to get out of the city for a change...

it took us about 4-6 Collete stores to find a cassava cake for Chi which eventually settled down after she ate her waffle @ Pancake house.. :)

it feels good relaxin' and chillin' out even if my leave was not approved. i guess it leaves me with no choice but to go to IBM tomorrow after my shift...

Safe In A Crazy World

I try to smile my tears away,
I try to keep my cool.
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter,
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me.

It feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theater of my dreams
I stumble and i crumble and I'm sinking to my knees for you
You cradle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's on a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

Moving Forward

Considering the fact that I was late for half-day at work, I have again realized the pains of working at day shift.. I so hate the sun (although I am thankful that it chose to shine -- because it will be more difficult to travel when it is raining)... scorching hot?

I was even amazed because my boss allowed me to go on half day.. Not knowing that I have a demo process for another non-agent position.

I thought that working at day shift (even if I tried ignoring the 20% night differential -- which just goes to my tax) will be less painful for me... was I ever wrong.. I am still in the adjusting -- and as usual... coping up with the everyday morning rambles.

I am tired of being an agent.. which goes to the resolution that I need to find another job that will challenge me and so I can make use of the skills that were long buried for almost two years now..

I am totally sedated -- I go to work just for the sole purpose of earning.. That is just it.. No other reasons ... I am not helpless. I just actually would want to have something that I can really call "career" -- something that is really worth having.. something that is to be proud of ...

my baby is still sick.. and I am trying my best to take care of him. We "almost" went to Tagaytay with the rest of his cousins last Saturday but it was postponed... settled for eating pizza @ Libis then Starbucks. Although there was dinner last night, I went home instead after celebrating Rica's birthday...

It was also my nephew's birthday.. just turned 3.. so adorable and at an early age, one can sense the quick-witted yet meek attitude from him...

i miss hunny...

My Idea of Heaven

I never thought I'd get here;
I was so far away
I didn't believe in love,
thought it was just a game
People played
Everything changed when I met you
I touched your hand,
you took my heart
And you led me to a better place,
just the two of us
In the dark...

This is my idea of heaven,
lying here with you
This is my idea of heaven,
nothing else, I'd rather do

I never thought you'd get here,
why'd you make me wait?
And when I looked into your eyes,
I recognized your words
My faith
I've been living in a lonely shell,
with no windows, to the world
How in God's name did you find, a lonestar
Loneliest girl...


This is my idea of heaven,
lying here with you
This is my idea of heaven, nothing else,
I'd rather do

To feel your heart, beating
To feel our limits, meeting

This is my idea of heaven, ooh
In heaven, love is everywhere
There is no pain, there are no tears
In heaven, love lasts forever, it doesn't, disappear...

This is my idea of heaven, lying here with you
This is my idea of heaven, nothing else, I'd rather do

To feel your heart, beating
To feel our limits, meeting

This is my idea of heaven, ooh
This is my idea of heaven, lying here with you

Nearness Of You

It's not the pale moon that excites me
That thrills and delights me, oh no
It's just the nearness of you
It isn't your sweet conversation
That brings this sensation, oh no
It's just the nearness of you


When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me
All my wildest dreams come true I need no soft lights to enchant me
If you'll only grant me the right
To hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night the nearness of you




*****
it will not be long now.. but it is quite amazing to feel this way.. two years and having this feeling like the first time our eyes met is wonderful. never failing me to sweep me off my feet.. always giving me goosebumps.. and with a sigh .. ^.~
i did not wish to fall for you.. it just happened, it happened when you smiled at me.. and our eyes met... ^.~

What About Love?

What if I took my time to love you?
What if I put no one above you?
What if I did the things
That really mattered?
What if I ran through
Hoops of disaster?

No one would care if
We never made it
We're in this alone
So why don't we face it
There is no room to
Blame one another
We just need time to
Forgive each other

What about love?
What about feeling?
What about all the things that make life worth living?
What about faith?
What about trust?
And tell me baby... what about us?

How can I give this
Love a new beginning?
How can I stop the rain?
It's never ending
How do I keep my soul believing?
Memories of how we
Should be keep calling

I'll take the rivers rise
I'll take the happy times
I'll take the moments of disaster

^.~ I've read Jenny's email. It contained something about this song. Really now, this is something that I have thought about before. And love is more than a word to describe a certain feeling. It's like stating a lot of explanations but nothing would really suffice, not capture its real meaning.. sigh? And no on will be able to fathom the real description.. More than a state of being elated, more than the comfort that you feel holding when you hold someone's hand, more than the warmth of a lover's embrace, more than the security of waking up each morning knowing that someone is thinking of you.


^.~ I believe that it is the greatest state or feeling that could change the whole world --- but at the same time, it can bring the most powerful person to his knees.. How wonderful it is to love and be loved in return.. But what if it dies? so they say, what if one grows out of love? instead of smile, it brings tears; instead of laughter.. it brings heartaches.


^.~ Hmmm... how utterly ironic. So, what about love?

These Are The Few Of My Favorite Things

these are the few of my favorite things.. I remember singing this song with Maria.. one of the songs on the original soundtrack  of The Sound of Music which I have watched almost a hundred times already (of course I am exaggerating... ^.^)! Funny thing is, I have alot of favorite things! :)

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

ice cream . ballet . chocolate cakes . pocketbooks. magazines . sims . butterflies and rainbows . blues and violets . paintings and sketches . beaches . hot-air balloons . bungee jumping . opera . caramel macchiato . and the list goes on......

Sweet Mondays

oh well.. it has been a peaceful and sweet Monday for me. After spending the past three days contemplating... (ha! I like to use that word.. ) I was able to find solace in letting God do His thing.

after re-thinking and finding solutions... worrying sick up to the point that I don't want to come to work, I was able to let live and let God. The typical Gemini -- always want to be in control. always want to feel secure. sigh? someone was able to make me come into my senses that no matter how I think about resolving things at the same time, I will not be able to do so...

take it easy.. so he says. hunny has always been the calming voice that soothes my worries. moccha frappe or caramel macchiato will be a great way or relaxing... and waste about 150 bucks for Timezone will help me de-stress (if there is such a word)... but I am trying to play Sims for a change. :)

I do thank my manager for the assistance though, I have been one of the most demanding agents on the team.. hehe but I am proud to say I do deserve to have some credits at times though.. haha.. I wonder what Cat will think after she reads this..

Carpe Diem! Seize the day! :)

Contemplating

sigh? here am i contemplating again.. Contrary to my nature... when I prefer to think. I don't want to be disturbed. And I really am not speaking at all. Plus it adds up the fact that I am not feeling well. I feel that I am going to be sick and I know that it is not ..."only in the mind" as what I usually say.

whew.. I don't even know what to feel right now. I just passed up the opportunity for the career that I would like to have... actually it just to put it mildly. It has been the job that I always have dreamed of having... and why the hell did I let it pass? because of the schedule... graveyard. darn it.

I have been on the evening to graveyard shift for a year and a half now when I was granted the morning shift after a lot of strenuous and not-that-easy process here at MSN. And just after a week I turned down the proposal. I even promised myself that I will not have any regrets because I am trying to live a normal career on the morning.

And right now I am so close to just quitting because of the selfish management who does not know how they will be able to at least commend the efforts of their employees. Rubbish... and please don't ask my what the heck am I doing here..

I just wanted to shout right now...