I have so many scattered thoughts today. And I don't know how I would judge as to how my week has gone by.


It seemed like everything happened in a blur. I have been waiting and really praying to get in at IBS. I was somehow trying to think less of it during those two weeks of waiting.


And at last, Laks called me last Monday - saying that I passed and all that.
Instead of having job offer frist, did the pre-employment exam Tuesday.


Original start date should have been on the first of December. My dilemma was that fear of having my 13th month pay held back because of my plan to resign.


And then the remuneration was good - all those benefits are really, I don't know "captivating" so to speak. But all, including the allowance are TAXABLE. (Yeah, darn.)


So I did what I always do - THINK. And devise plans.. For me there is always Plan A and Plan B. Since I hate losing control over things.


And I worried. Which is inevitable. December is supposed to be like the money month. And if I decide to resign now - it felt like I am going to be the only person who is poor this coming holiday. (silly thought, I know.)
So I prayed - and hoped to God that if getting in is really in His plan, all would be smooth.
I again remembered Romans 8:28 "All things work together for the good.."


I was able to settle an agreement with my next company - and they agreed that I could start on the 16th instead. (Yipee!)
So Thursday, I signed the contract.
After a week of stress - it is over. FINALLY.


And as the week ends, I am trying to evaluate all that happened and get back to my own track.
Thanks to Hunny, who has always been supportive and was willing to listen to my rants and reasoning.


To my friends - who all gave their two cents on what I needed to do.
In the end, I think it all boils down to one thing. I can do and think and stress myself all I want.
But it is still HIS plan that prevails.


I have again, learned my lesson.
And I am grateful to God. Knowing that He still answers my prayers.
Even if I don't go to church that often.
I should be ashamed I guess.

Raja

This is Raja today. She is 2 mos and 16 days already. An how big she is!

Super Poking

This is Raja, my tiger.
It is the first day of my birth month and alot of changes has happened.
Still many are to be awaited.

Playful

I love it when Hun and I are playful. Which rarely happens - na walang napipikon.
And today is one of those days..
Simple yet the moment will always makes me smile.
Or better yet laugh that would make other people think I am crazy.
Well, I am crazy.
Only for Hunny.

Ramblings

Today is the day that i will write my thoughts that should have been posted here during the previous days.

Hunny bought me a phone (yehey) last Monday. Actually he bought us both phones. He is apparently trying (desperately) to let go of the g900 that I have given him for our anniversary last year. He is planning to buy an iTouch, and we thought it would be best if we both would sell the PDA's and stick with a basic phone.

I love my phone. Though before, I don't like it since it looks like a toy. It is very handy, with 3MP, auto focus cam. It even came with a tripod.. nice! Here are some pics of it..


My sister lost her phone yesterday. During her graduation.. Stupid right? Twas mine and hunny's Christmas gift to her. And I think she cried all the way home. Was not able to attend since I have work and I need to sleep. Well, I would not replace it. She would be borrowing my spare phone. But since she is already a graduate, she can find work and buy one for herself right? (nuff said)

I am already planning to treat them tomorrow at Dampa. Combined celebration for mom's day and her grad. Don't like what my ate did when I called her... hmp!

Lastly, before I continue my audits. My boss from being an MS emailed me for a project assignment.. Real estate - cool! I thought that has been cancelled since it was over a week since I last got an update from her. I will be taking out of town assignment now. And the token is like 8k (yahoo!!!) Love it. Sana wala nang hassle and matuloy. :) So I have to make tipid since we might be dropping by to Tagaytay as well. Hopefully. But we still need to buy tires... :-S

Infidelity

I got kinda- pissed off with a friend of mine yesterday.

He borrowed my phone and asked if he can text someone. Of course, I said yes. And then whoever the person he texted tried calling twice. Well, miss-call maybe (the Filipino term for it) since I think s/he does not intend to really call since it cuts off after 2 vibra.

I accidentally read the reply of a person named Joan asking my married guy friend that she is already at the house and is waiting for his call. I know I have bno business or whatever to interfere. But I sure do know that his wife's name is not Joan..

So here comes the uh-oh. I told him that the person was trying to call. He borrowed my phone again and had the nerve to ask me if it is okay if he can use my phone. so I said okay, and with a subtle expression asked who was that.. He just mentioned that it is his "karbarkada". (kabarkada my ass!)

Turned out that the person di not call, he gave me my phone back and made bilin to inform him if there will be a text or call from that person (uhm, excuse me? do I look like a yaya?). The stupid girl kept on calling for 10x yesterday, sending messages like she was waiting for him to be the one to call. Even if it was bad, I made deadma. And did not inform my friend again of the missed calls or the SMS's.

Hunny taught me how to reject the call and block the messages. But before I was able to do that, another message arrived that has something to do with them meeting up 530 AM at Mcdonald's Libis. Again - deadma. When I woke up 6am, I saw 4 rejected calls from that number.

My POV - I treat my friends as friends. I think I am a fairly good friend, loyal as well. But I never tolerate infidelity. One can never find an alliance from me when it comes to "trust within the relationship issues". The nerve of him to use me and my phone. The guts of that stupid girl to make kulit though she knows that the number he used was not his! For God's sake, he just got married last February! And he even had the confidence to tell us at lunch that this is his 3rd month being married to his wife!!!!! (argghhh)

Aside from infidelity, I hate flirts. Especially those girls who tries to flirt with guys whom they know has girlfriends. There is this silly girl who is obviously flirting with Hunny. I kinda have this rule.. 3 strikes - and you are out.. Parang baseball lang. She already has pissed me off way big time before. And then now, she has done it again. One na lang talaga, am not going to make pigil anymore. With the advise of my guy friends - she was really making hints.. so she just need to wait, one more na lang.

But I may change my mind. Because the more I think about what she said, the more I wanted to inform her.. Kinda refresh her memory that whatever her insinuations may be, she might want to try it to somebody else but not to what is mine.

Only You

Only you can make this world seem right
Only you can make the darkness bright
Only you and you alone
Can thrill me like you do
Aand fill my heart with love for only you

Only you can make this change in me
For it's true, you are my destiny
When you hold my hand
I understand the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you

Only you can make this change in me
For it's true, you are my destiny
When you hold my hand
I understand the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you

You
Only you
One and only you

bear

Hunny gave this bear to me last night. Ain't he cute? (the bear, I mean)

He knows the kind of things that makes my heart heart melt.

I was able to buy the VS wristlet already and I soooo love it!

I hope to eliminate my bulky wallet thingies..

As I Lay Me Down

It felt like springtime on this February morning
In the courtyard birds were singing your praise
I'm still recalling things you said to make me feel alright
I carried them with me today, Now

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away
I'll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy

I wonder why I feel so high
Though I am not above the sorrow
Heavy hearted
Till you call my name
And it sounds like church bells
Or the whistle of a train
On a summer evening
I'll run to meet you
Barefoot barely breathing


It's not too near for me
Like a flower I need the rain
Though it's not clear to me
Every season has its change
And I will see you
When the sun comes out again

Head Over Feet

This is my song for Hunny today:

_______________________________________

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it


You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was


You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
Its all your fault


Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service


You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience


You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long


Ive never felt this healthy before
Ive never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

Shiny Blue Car

There was a time that I dreamt that Hunny and I got a new car. A shiny blue car - I don't know how we got it. But we were so happy that we don't need to replace the gray's tires.

Anyways, this morning at breakfast, Hunny mentioned that he is going to teach me how to drive if ever get a new car. Though it needs to be automatic.. (yippee!) I was so happy. :) Though I did not tell him.

Today, I dreamt of a dog biting me on the leg. This has bothered me.. Since I do not dream unless my dreams have meaning.. Just last week, I dreamt of being pursued by a man who wanted to kill me.. Morbid - yeah. And I don't like it one bit. So I keep on praying. And asking for the Lord's assistance and protection.

Ate Tina gave me a new bag! yehey! Twas simple but very nice. Love it.. (who am I kidding?) I love bags - all shapes, sizes, colors and designs!! :D

PCD

OMG! They are coming back to Manila.. Yes they are! The day after my birthday!!! June 11, 2009, Pussycat Dolls will be having a concert in MOA.

Hmm, I wonder if I will go against my policy. I don't go to concerts. Hate the feeling of bumping with other people, making pila and all. But this is PCD..

(contemplating....)

Random Ramblings..

I got sort-of pissed off with people today. We had a calibration with the client. And we weren't even informed what time not until I asked if there will be. One said there is , the other one mentioned that out LOB is not included. Then, we even have to ask what number to dial - instead of them giving us the information beforehand. I mean, is it so hard to make a recurring calendar invite is Outlook?

To my frustration, I even went to jobstreet and updated my account. I even sent one job application and did not tell anyone about it. Even Hunny. I know the importance of tenure, that is why I am trying all I can to be patient and stay but all seemed so unofficial and unprofessional here. Since when have you seen leads bickering over the proper scoring in front of their members? And a sup who just roams around every time? With another not being bale to defend our side to management? And oh yeah, an infamous newly-promoted QAA who has a lot of inconsistencies when doing audits.

Anyways, so much for my random ramblings. I slept 12hrs yesterday that is why I am not sleepy at all at work. There were just a few people who came in since they offered time-off. We are nearing the quota, that is why they are trying to lessen the audits per day, thus allowing people to go on unpaid leave if they want to. This is means that your salary will be 1k less every pay out. Tsk, tsk.. Not good.

Looking back, how I wish I haven't left my second company. I am clearly in the greener pastures there. And was already up for promotion. Though because of my haste decision - I left. My bad, I know.

Sigh. This is confusing. :-S

Laugh. Live. Love.

Twas supposed to be fun, and light - and a stress reliever. All in a day's work. We were on our way home. I left my phone in the car last night so there was no way for me to text you or you text me if you are goin' to pick me up already. I think I am silly enought to leave my iPod open and the battery drained. The moment I was suppose to set the alarm, it was giving me the no battery warning sign already.

I woke up as usual. You did not tell me how long you have waited. We talked about the usual stuff - office related things. I was making lambing since I miss you already. Then Jason Mraz's song.. originally by Old English "Melt With You" was played over the radio.

I love the song and started sing. Pretending that I have a mic. The song was quite memorable because twas the song I sang the day we I was able to cajole you to do the karaoke. I don't know if you are not in the mood, maybe you are just tired.

But you asked me to stop. That spoiled my moment. (sigh?) Undeniable silence followed.

It is just sad. I have always been the serious one, the responsible one.. my siblings even call me a stickler to propriety. The only time I relax is when I am with you. And those little times are the moments I treasure.

I cannot change you. Nor can I force you to do things you cannot like. I know that -

But I hope to share with you how wonderful my life has been since I met you.

Live and let live.

Laugh. Live. Love.

There are only a few things left for free in this world. :(

Accidentally In Love

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it


How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love


Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after love


So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight
Shimmering love


Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love


These lines of lightning
Mean we're never alone,
Never alone, no, no


Come on, Come on
Move a little closer
Come on, Come on
I want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on
Settle down inside my love


Come on, come on
Jump a little higher
Come on, come on
If you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on
We were once
Upon a time in love


We're accidentally in love
Accidentally in love


Accidentally


I'm In Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,
Accidentally


Come on, come on
Spin a little tighter
Come on, come on
And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on
Just get yourself inside her


Love ...I'm in love

Tis not good to have this hyperacidity acting up again since yesterday. I helped Sara the other to have some medicine since she was the one who was really in pain & squirming on her seat. I guess what happened was that I am not eating right again - plus I am trying to go on a diet (which is not good for me) since I have ulcer. (arghhh!)


I also wanted to go back to Batangas and have a nice vacation. Like maybe 3 days/2nights of rest and recreation. Spend some time with Hunny and just enjoy nature. MY family is also planning to have a get-together. Maybe just a day swimming since we have kids. We might settle for Club Manila East since it is the most decent place. Though we have to figure out a way on how to be able to eat without any hassles since food is not allowed inside the resort. Buchi and I are also planning another double date getaway.. This maybe in Laguna. For a change of environment. So many plans - so little time. And mmoney is definitely an issue.


Anyways, I have to stop rambling now and start my audits. Though this week is really such too-lazy-to go-to -work week. Ryan already mentioned that I need to change my FB shoutout. (Too sleepy to go to work).


Signing off for now.

LG KS360

Saw this at SM Marikina today.
Had to check the specs first before I make any impulsive decision..

Beach

Too darn hot these days..
Wanna go back to Tagaytay.
Or Tali..

No Kiss List

Hey babe,
Let me borrow Naomi's words..

Rhett. The first person I think of when I wake up in the morning, the last person I hope for when I fall asleep at night. The one person who's as much as part of me as me.

I love you.
Hime.

Simply Amazing

Word For The Day

This has something that caught my attention during breakfast. Though it is really hard to live life by this code. One has to live closer to God to be able to shake away all those worries.


I was unable to sleep well because of the heat. But I had a good dream - in fact, it was a very good dream. In my dream I acquired a blue car (brandnew and I don't know where it came from) and I was happy that we never need to worry about it buying new tires. I am hoping this is another premonition. Hunny will be ecstastic.

Grinchy

My sister used to call me Grinchy since I am considered snobbish by those people I know. I cannot contest to that. Though this day is quite different - I admit that I am really grouchy!!!

First off, back still is aching though I already went to the hospital for check up yesterday. The doctor was quite unfriendly for me. Telling me that the xray were good so she would not be giving me any time off (in the medical certificate). I wanted to tell her that I am not looking for any rest {why? because (1) I don't get paid and (2) being sick requires additional expenses - which I clearly don't need right now}. Already has to be absent from work last night (bye-bye 1k from my next salary).

Second, the medicine she gave me makes me feel REALLY dizzy that I had to slow down with my audits since I need to careful hitting the wrong button.

Third, I am getting allergies since my desk is full of dust. I forgot the alcohol in the car. And nobody here has no alcohol. Argghhhh!!

Though one thing made me laugh today.. Reading posts in Gtalk today and I saw one signature from a fellow girltalker that says:

i know HE has reasons why until now we are still waiting..

Really had to laugh at this one - immediately thought of Hunny and what his reaction will be if I make kwento about it. Seem familiar eh?

beach!

am bored and so irritated with the heat. i can't even sleep well.
i am in desperate need to go to the beach.

I Did Not Wish To Fall For You

Time Check!

Power Up

One thing that I do not like about the Lenten Season is that usually, the temperature is so high. It was friggin' hot yesterday.. and there is nothing much to do. Aside from doing the usual stuff (surfing, checking emails and playing DS) I just watched movies in Xbox.


Hun and I decided to go to La Mesa Ecopark, thinking it would be a good way to relax and unwind since the environment itself will bring us closer to nature. But we were wrong. It already summer vacation plus it was Black Saturday - the place was packed with people. The only activity that we were able to do was boating for an hour that was worth a hundred bucks. The fishing area is closed. Pool area is closed and one will not be able to find a decent place where you can just 'picnic'. We were there for about 30-45 minutes only.

Went to Bluwave to drink buko juice and I coerced Hunny to go to Timezone. I beat him (well, i was 3rd and he was 5th -- which rarely happens) to car racing. We sang 2 songs instead of 3 because I pushed the wrong code and a Korean song came up so I just canceled it since I can't read Korean. He also shot some hoops..


I appreciate the effort of him trying to help me de-stress. He kept on saying that I did not enjoy it since we were really looking foward going to the park. But little did he know that I was in my happy place again.


No matter where we go, what we do - or even we do nothing at all. As long as we are together. I am happy.

Eight Beatitudes of Jesus

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 5:3-10

Forgiveness

• “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” -- Catherine Ponder

• “There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” --Bryant H. McGill
  

• “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” -- Robert Muller quotes

• “Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.” -- Oscar Wilde quotes

• “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” -- Lewis B. Smedes“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

• “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” -- Mahatma Gandhi
  

• “You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God do the rest.”

• “Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” -- Sara Paddison

• “The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -- Thomas S. Szasz

• “People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than for being right.” -- Joanne Kathleen Rowling

• “Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” -- Peter Ustinov“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.” Lewis B. Smedes

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” - Mark Twain

• “Forgiveness is the oil of relationships” -- Josh McDowell

• “We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves” -- Joshua Loth “The secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing” -- George Bernard Shaw

• “He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love.” -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

• “Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” --Hannah Moore

I like! 041109

I have been saving up for this dress.
I like to design and the color.
Hopefully, I'll get this on Thursday.

waaaahh! sold out na... different color available..
hindi bagay sa akin yung blue/orange (ulk!)
loser..

Arigato

thank you for making me safe..
thank you for loving me for who i am.

Happy Place

Today is not one of the best days of my life. A week has passed since a very unfortunate thing had happened. Clearly, it was unintentional. But, as God has planned, He took away a life. And that scenario has caused alot of people to suffer. Apparently, me and my family were affected. And it is not a very nice feeling. It has made me anxious, scared, sad and guilty - in the place of my dad.


Though I clearly don't want to pay for the sins of my father.. Moreover, I refuse to. Some things can't be helped. And I just felt my control snapped. Tomorrow, I need to do the right thing. Though I need to keep my head up high, I still need to find my roots and ask for God's grace to teach me to be humble. Which is not a very easy thing to do.


All day, I burrowed myself into watching Asian Drama series - one of the things I do to distract myself. And I think about my happy place -


In my happy place, I am with you. And that it is all I ever need..

Press on hime..

Sleepy on a Thursday Shift

I feel like I am floating.
I think I had enough sleep. Did not take any iron vitamins.
Maybe it is just that sleeping is a past time I have rarely done during the past few weeks.
No wonder I missed it so much!
I hope to goodness that all my audits will be accurate.
I am just so sleepy tonight.
And tomorrow, I guess they will decide that we have to take some time off since it is Good Friday..

On the way to work, there was no traffic at all. But there was this stupid tricycle driver who feels like he is the king of the road. This attitude pisses hunny off everytime. (sigh?)

Heart's Day Vid

I promise to stop posting for the day and will just settle to watching Fated To Love You after this.
The video is a gift from hunny two Valentine's ago. And it can still make my cry. Yeah, mushy. Not that much - though if you know him, you'll understand why my tears just keeps on flowing.
From then until now, though all we have gone through - I still ask why does he love me. And I like hearing why over and over again.

The Colour Of My Love

Reposting this since my former post (redundant?) won't format the way I would like to.
Learned about the song from Cat (I miss the stubborn girl) and I fell in love with it. So many real emotions of love and promise. This is definitely on my wedding song list:

Ill paint my mood in shades of blue
Paint my soul to be with you
Ill sketch your lips in shaded tones

Draw your mouth to my own

Ill draw your arms around my waist
Then all doubt I shall erase
Ill paint the rain that softly lands on your wind-blown hair

Ill trace a hand to wipe out your tears

A look to calm your fears
A silhouette of dark and light
While we hold each other oh so tight

Ill paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that well never part
Thats the colour of my love

Ill paint the truth
Show how I feel
Try to make you completely real
Ill use a brush so light and fine
To draw you close and make you mine

Ill paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that well never part

Thats the colour of my love

Ill draw the years all passing by
So much to learn so much to try

And with this ring our lives will start
Swearing that well never part
I offer what you cannot buy
Devoted love until we die

Mind Full of Bells

Let me see.. I wanted to get married.

Yeah, I know people will say "about time". I have no aversions to matrimony, in fact - I like the thought of getting to start my own family. The thing is, I am back to square one in SAVING. Hun and I are not the type of couple who loves to rely on their parents. He absolutely loathes asking his parents for money since he knows he is old enough to earn it. And I am the breadwinner of my family. Had to wait to let for my siblings to finish college so they can replace me - kinda like taking turns in taking care of the bills and our mom.

Today, my brother let me asked me to listen to another rendition of Pachelbel's Canon in D Major - one of my favorite classics ever since I heard it from My Sassy Girl. This time, it version was played with two acoustic guitars only. And it was lovely.

So my thoughts went to marriage again.. sigh!
As far as my plans (that was made only in my head), here are some tidbits:

1) motif - although my favorite color is purple, I like to have a summer/spring motif plus RED. I like the contrast of bloody red roses over white lilies.
2) place - expensive i know.. but I would wish for it to be held in the Glass Garden. Place is not to far from home. Don't like the idea of our guests family and friends to travel from one place to another. As much as I would like it to be in a church, I think it is more fair to be like a garden wedding.
3) date - tough to decide. though I would love to be a June bride.
4) cake - tiny cupcakes na may wedding theme.. saw something like that in multiply.. customized. so each guest can take a piece. what the heck will I do with layers of cake?
5) honeymoon - definitely Macau or Greece
6) dress - I want it plain and simple. Nothing too lacey.. after all, there is always the veil right? but I want my hair to be style with mini pearls or swarovski crystals..
7) groom - hunny. (non-negotiable)

Well, as much as I would like to daydream while writing these, I need to get back to reality. Someday, I will have these things for real..

God makes all things beautiful in His time.

For All You've Done

For all You've done
For all You're going to do
We give You thanks
And lift our praise to You


We give thanks
We give praise
For we know
That all things work together
For our good
We give thanks
We give praise
For by faith
We know Your grace
Will see us through


For all those things
That we don't understand
We come by faith
And place them in Your hands


Even if we stumble
Even if we fall
You will not forsake us
You are King and Lord of all
Lord of all