Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on, our troubles will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days, Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.

And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.

so this is christmas

sigh? so this is what it feels not to be spending the holidays with your family. there are less calls though but this is so friggin' irritating because my leave was not approved.. considering that I have filed it a month before the said

i swear to God... i am this close to quitting this job and jumping to the next opportunity that will knock my door.. but I have to make sure it pays more than what I am receiving right now.. I am not going to stay in this company that long for nothing. i am quite aggravated with this situation date... ?!!? duh??? that is getting worse...

anyways.. have a merry christmas ya' all

my oh my...

my oh my...

it is my off and i usually don't sleep in the morning because it is hard for me to sleep at night like normal people do.. but, I am not normal (haha).

it is weird, i can feel the cool breeze at night but it is hard to believe that only three days to go and it is Christmas already. Haven't finished my Christmas list yet.. hoping that this will be unique holiday for me.. because I have work.. even on New Year..

things change...

come away with me?

come away with me?
wanted to work out of the country..

but i still wanted to be with you...

come away with me?

more each day

I am feeling lazy as ever. But needless to say, I need to work and earn money. Huhun and I already bought gifts for people but we are still not finished.. It is not that too many people on the list but there are a lot of people and we were exhausted the other day also...

Hmm.. I wanted to go to church today.. but I cannot because I still have to render the mandatory overtime. Probably Huhun is still sleeping. I believed he slept late waiting for Chi to come home.

We have been spending a lot of time together. And sometimes I wonder if he is getting tired of it. Oh well, there are just some awfully-quiet days that we still choose to stick with each other.. It is like those days that is somehow... hmmm... you have nothing else left to say.. just the presence is enough.
 
and i am beginning to love him a little more each day... it grows.. :)

when crabs learn to fly....

i wonder when this will happen... or if by any chance there is a possibility that it could happen... well... maybe never. why? because if someone is to ask me.. that is the time that i'll be letting go of the love I am feeling right now.. i usually have alot of things in my mind - but at the end of the day.. after i sort it all out.. - it all goes down to one thing. and however sad or dreary or troublesome the day has been.. i can find one reason why I smile. it because I am happy to have someone like Huhun in my life right now... and maybe he doesn't know it- or maybe he does. but i accept him for who he is... him and me may have alot of differences.. there are some things that he does that sometimes bothers me.. and many times that i have been selosa... making kulit.. and making lambing... always wanting to to be with him... wanted to do things together with him... that seemed like I can never last a day without him... i maybe needy... or babyish... all this dependency sounds so immature if other may say so.. but apart from it all..

I can stand up for him... even if I have to stand by him myself.

he doesn't know that it is not I don't want him to work. It is just that I worry that he will over-exhaust himself. I swore to myself that I'd support him for what he wants to do as long as I know that he will be happy and it will do him something good. he doesn't know that I am of proud him... (being a dean's lister or not) but for the guy I knew then... the person I have grown to love with and the man I respect now.. i don't like seeing him pressured... thinking what he needs to do first.. study or work... but i know too well that he needs both. hmm... and i know that sometimes he worries about me making the gastos... men's pride. ha... if we could have it the other way around... i'd be saving the money not just for me.. but for us... i know he wouldn't like that idea.. but i plan to love for the rest of my life...

Forgiveness... and Forgetfulness

i have just watched a Korean flick "A Moment To Remember" about a happily married couple, the girl having —Alzheimer's Disease! Yes, a disease usually reserved for the ailing elderly has now been bestowed upon a twenty-seven year-old girl, who's not only beautiful but also recently married. Her husband, Choi Chol-Soo (Jung Woo-Sung), is an impossibly tough man-among-men, who now must deal with the heartrending plight of his wife's health going to Hell.

and luckily I had a good copy of the director's cut about this ruggedly-handsome not-so boyfriend material and the rebellious rich kid who almost ran away with a married guy; it seemed to be like a very common plot but after watching I was able to discover that it's romantic, funny, and blithely ridiculous all at once! To be fair, A Moment to Remember is engaging enough for what it is. "There's an eraser in my head," which she utters upon the revelation of her fading memory. "Being able to forget easily is a gift," Unfortunately, that statement applies not only to the sad realization of her fate but also to a fact that it can happen to anyone. Lastly, I was amazed on how their love pull them both through on such a desperate situation... :)

back to work

after two days of not going to work, I am back-- though i still am feeling lazy to take calls and my throat is still sore. good thing i can click on7 the mute button whenever I have to cough... and it is a great inconvenience for me... really

oh well.. i was able to go to Pangasinan with huhun and the other family members last Friday! :) our second getaway together. and it was tiring though it was really enjoying... Tita Bamba talks non-stop and she was always making kwento of life in the US (typical balibyans...:) I was bale to sleep on the way home because I was feeling bad... went home Saturday 1 am na.. ahehehe
of course pictures.. pictures... that is what i love collecting.... sigh??

i love my hunny...

missing you...

for the first time in my call center life.. i am close to having no voice at all and that nurse.. i don't even understand her... she wants to have my tonsils namamaga before she could give me an hour rest... for God sakes, it is just an hour???? not for me to rest physically to rest but for my throat to rest... so that I can take calls properly... and now i am taking calls.. I am not trying to stress my throat or whatsoever... how i wish hindi nlang ako pumasok?? darn. but nanghihinayang ako sa salary?? why??? i dont care about money much but there is this great pressure at home to heLp... "more" which I myself cant understand if it practical or logical to do that.... i dont know... i am confused about the whole idea also... huhun passed the screening.. how I wish he'd be working... but with this kind of company... i am having second thoughts.. i want to be with him.. i miss spending quality time with my slipihead... sigh?? i was wondering if misses me too.. :-(

strawberry fields forever..

mm.. it is near the end of my shift but I still have to do the one hour mandatory overtime. later I'll try to do it before my shift.. well, I was close to be pissed off last night. i don't know... well.. maybe when you are in love there is a thin line that divides selflessness and selfishness.. sensitivity and being insensitive.. you know.. those kind of things... maybe I just don't like the idea of having someone around when huhun makes hatid to me sa office.. It felt awkward.. but not with all people though.. just some.. you see... i am not the type of person who gives my trust esp. if I have gotten not-so-good impression of you the first time we meet. sigh? i wonder if this is just a natural feeling or if this is just one of my over reactions... huhun is going to look for work. i don't know if he is serious with it. well.. i just don't know.. i would love to have him for a colleague but i am thinking what if it will hinder with his studies though... and now that he mentioned that he mentioned tatay doesn't like them to be working @ callcenters... sigh? I'll just be beside you huhun.. if you think you can do it... studies & work.. then you go ahead.. I have faith you... always had...

stikwidu

I don't want to go another day . So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind . Seems like everybody is breaking up . Throwing their love away . I know I got a good thing right here . That's why I say (Hey) Nobody's going to love me better . I'm going to stick with you . Forever . Nobody's going to take me higher . I'm going to stick with you . You know how to appreciate me . I'm going to stick with you . My baby . Nobody ever made me feel this way . I'm going to stick with you I don't want to go another . So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind . See the way we ride . In our private lives . Ain't nobody getting in between . I want you to know that you're the only one for me . And I say Nobody's going to love me better . I'm going to stick with you . Forever . Nobody's going to take me higher . I'm going to stick with you . You know how to appreciate me . I'm going to stick with you . My baby . Nobody ever made me feel this way . I'm going to stick with you And now . Ain't nothing else I can need . And now . I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me . I got you . We'll be making love endlessly . I'm with you . Baby, you're with me So don't you worry about . People hanging around . They ain't bringing us down . I know you and you know me . And that's all that counts . So don't you worry about . People hanging around . They ain't bringing us down . I know you and you know me . And that's why I say Nobody's going to love me better . I'm going to stick with you . Forever . Nobody's going to take me higher . I'm going to stick with you . You know how to appreciate me . I'm going to stick with you . My baby . Nobody ever made me feel this way . I'm going to stick with you Nobody's going to love me better . I'm going to stick with you . Forever . Nobody's going to take me higher . I'm going to stick with you . You know how to appreciate me . I'm going to stick with you . My baby . Nobody ever made me feel this way . I'm going to stick with you

sleep all day

for starters.. I did not render the one hour overtime this morning.. I was so tired and I feel so sick that is why I decided to go home..i did not even bother to ask RTA because I don't know if they will allow me to.. so I went straight home and slept all day...

sleep all... sleep all day... from morning till evening... and a long lost friend of mine woke me up... she is getting married next year and.. good for her I can say... hoping that I'd be the bridesmaid ulet... hehehe..

hmm... hunny insisted that he'd make hatid even if he is not feeling well and we ate pizza!!??!! i dunno.. sudden cravings... at least I was able to rest... if I did not go home kanina... siguro I'd be absent tonight... whew??

sleep all.. sleep all day...

i need sleep!?!

oh boy.. am I really feeling sleepy today.. and all the more I have the tendency to be irate.. I don't like rendering mandatory OT.. i believe there is no such a thing.. that is basically crap.

and now, here I am - taking calls to stupid people who insist in using modern technology.. so demanding & rude asking for ts!?... who says the Americans are smart??? try working in a call center.. you'll be able to prove yourself wrong... haha

both me & hunny are tired.. and we both lack of sleep.. they played dota all night long.. and I worked in this job I don't even remember why I got in here anyways...

Geo mentioned that I ought to include him here.. (s)he never stops pestering me.. well good thing he is here... at least I have someone that I can kill when I get irate... he is more of a... whatdaya call that? shock absorber! hehe (mwah! geo..)

nothing much to tell as of this day... the upgrade of the pc is to be continued.. and i have gotten time to listen to Tita Bamba's stories...

sigh? am i sleepy... :-(

struck by lightning

hmm.. what a tiring day.. for starters, hunny & i went with my little bro to buy his mp3 player.. i really don't know what i'd do without my huhun...

why?

it is this simple...

loving him gives me a reason to smile everyday...
to be loved by him is a gift from the Creator that I will always be grateful of...

and I hope he knows that...

feeling lazy

sigh?? this is one of the most dragging days I have ever had.. maybe because it is my off later.. hmm.. huhun seems to me... is making bawi... haha.. joke huhun! mwah! he upgraded my pc again because the sound card was not working correctly. so he reformatted it and upgraded the memory and the videocard.. naks? anyways.. there are STILL alot of calls.. it is as if... it was doubled and i'm close to losing my voice because of the sore throat.sigh? i feel so lazy...

and just to add... for the month to date.. 560+ calls... whew.. and getting a fatal for improper account verification... ???? duh?????

darn... i am so tired.. sigh.. :-(

True Colors

hmm - i am a person of many questions.. why? because I love to think.. and basic all before... my OC was to write everything I feel... maybe it be good or bad,,, it is my way of expression.. and I haven't done that lately. when my journal was my bestfriend.. there you can see the real me.. my fears.. my hope... my beliefs and my source of joy..

as corny as it seems.. it is me.. i wonder.. can someone love me for who i really am and not for the person they perceives me to be?aa

i remember a friend - though we are not into speaking terms anymore.. well, basically because I was the one who decided to stay away.. this person.. gave me that song during one of my lowest times...

and am I capable of making someone happy when they see the true colors?

oh what a day...

i am exhausted. we have been working about 9 hours.. i was even too sleepy to eat and just dozed off when i arrived home. and it may be that i woke up at the wrong side of the bed.. i learned that huhun was with his HS friends. see, i dont have any problems with that. they are, after all his friends.. or whatever.. the thing that I don't like is alcohol.. though I am not biased, I mean.. what the hell does it good to you? and why do they have to drag other people into habits of drinking... if they want to be miserable... then let them be.. but not as to get involved with their so-called habits. darn. was I mad like i have not been the mad before. huhun insisted that he will make hatid.. i am really not pissed off, not worried... concerned is the exact word to explain it. i don't like him to drive and drink... it is so obvious to know the reason why.. what really pissed me off was his friends laughing at the backseat.. oh well, it is not my car and nakikisakay lang ako kaya i have know right to complain.. but it irritated me more.. when they just laughes... i mean *wtf??? was that all about... or is there way to avoid the silence?well... apparently -- it annoyed me more.. knowing that naka-inom na sila kaya mas lalong makulet?? sigh? i am willing to know and befriend the people that he loves and that is a part of his life. no questions on that.. but I am jsut wondering what good does it do if they always drink kapag nagkikita? wala na bang ibang maganda at kapaki-pakinabang na gagawin aside from that???? some people may comment on this that I am such a worry-freak... well, i dont care.. why? because this is me.. when I am not okey.. I am not going to pretend to be okey. WYSIWYG . that is me. nothing to pretend. if just by any case, you will be reading this huhun.. i know you do understand... and i know you know what i feel and you are sorry.

after offs..

oh well... i really feel so lazy going to work after my offs.. :) and there are alot of long calls and so many calls today. sometimes I ask myself how the hell did i get into this kind of job. True, I like helping people but sometimes I get tired of just talking yadah-yadah 8 hrs a day.

good thing there is slipihead who always remind me that if it were not for this job, I wil not be able to help my family and buy things I want. sigh? sometimes, this everyday habit gets boring and draining also.. esp if you're dealing with stupid people who are trying to make things harder by pretending to be smart.

and speaking of pc. i did upgrade ours... well, parang saiplitan and biglaan pa nga? nahiya ako kay sleepyhead ng sobra.. his savings was the money we used first and then he was the one who did almost everything. but i swear, when I saw him mad yesterday.. - i was a liitle bit afraid.. trying to think how to pacify him. I was guilty also because I forgot to remind him that it was 110volts. well, at least now it is workign again..

thanks to my sleepyhead.. dont know what i'd do without him... whew!